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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing about owning a car in Liverpool? You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage."

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's six years in a row now"

"Why we don't give food to cannibals.. ..because they know how to feed for themselves."

"Why do women fake orgasms? They think men care. I'll see myself out."

"I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in..... ""Troy."" he said, suddenly. ""I am."" I replied. ""Give me a minute"""

"Pizza is an emotion right?"

"Two cannibals are eating a clown One says to the other, ""does this taste funny to you""?"

"What does a submarine full of gay guys smell like? Sea Men"

"My mom: The liberals in California are rubbing off on you. Me: I know, it keeps getting in my hair. (silence)"

"So I walked into a bank with a bag of weed to deposit... The teller asked, ""what are you doing?"" I said, ""I wish to open a joint account!"""