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Joke of the Day
"Knock knock. Who's there? It's Amy. Amy who? It's amy, MARIO!"
Next Joke
"How do you kill a snail? With an as-salt rifle!"
"Instagram: ""Look at my sushi!"" Vine: ""Look at my sushi for six seconds!"""
"I haven't talked to a single member of my family since the great monopoly battle of '06. So yea, I know a thing or 2 about holding a grudge."
"I always write ""boing"" in the memo section of my checks, so all parties involved know how this is gonna go."
"My mom once got drunk and stabbed me because I look like my Father... Just kidding, she shot me. But hey, the past is the past. She's sober now and I can finally walk again."
"What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline"
"How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her."
"[alien taking notes] Humans: Reluctant to common sense gun control, yet somehow completely overreactive when approached by a bee."
"I would tell you a pizza joke... I would tell you a pizza joke but that would be too cheesy. Funny no?"