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Joke of the Day

"Man gets arrested by female police officer A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" The man replies, ""Boobs!"""

"Bernie has a fucked up Campaign Slogan. As a Jew, why the fuck would his campaign slogan be ""Feel the Bern""? Love the guy, best canidate, a bit flawed and optimistic. Don't kill me bernie bros."

"Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things. Boy: What are the two things? Girl: Your feet."

"Why Does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients."

"I don't always eat breakfast... But when I do, I prefer ""dos eggies."""

"If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about."

"According to my current parking spot, I'm Chief of Police."

"How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house? His tricycle will be parked outside."

"Some men are born to greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them. Me? I like waffles."

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."