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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I attempt to make a joke as reply-all to a group email chain I hit the wrong button & just make joke to 1 weirded out person"

"Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing."

"No thanks Black Friday crowds. I do all my Christmas shopping online in a blind panic, as God intended."

"Why do women live on average two years longer? Because the time they spend parking doesn't count."

"What's white at the top and black at the bottom? Society"

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world... ...those who can count and those who can't"

"Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud."

"Have you heard the one about the deaf guy? He hasn't either."

"Do you remember blowing Bubbles as a kid? Well he's back in town."

"*nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!"