9458

Joke of the Day

"My dog got hit by a train today & we found out my brother didn't make parole. Talk about a case of the Mondays!!"

"What do I want to do to your body? I don't know. Identify it, I guess."

"I'm starting a talent agency that only represents those dudes in rap videos that just sorta stand around looking all hard."

"My alarm is so needy... it wants attention at the worst times!"

"What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"What is the most independent kind of cheese? Prov alone."

"I now win almost every argument with my zombie girlfriend I just give her a little piece of my mind!"

"11: He shoots for her coffee. He SCORES! HE'S... Me: Grounded."

"Did you hear about the Polish suicide bomber? 42 successful missions"

"Oscar Pistorius should be banned from the Olympics ...because he smoked Reeva"