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Joke of the Day

"My driving teacher asked me where the gas is. Second door on the right."

"So I Went to the doctor And he told me to quit masturbating. I said ""whys that?"" He said ""Because you're in my office"""

"A tourist tried to visit a nudist beach only to discover it was blocked off. He asked the local lisping lifeguard of the beach, ""You open?"" The lifeguard responded, ""Sorry, we're clothed."""

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? Carrot!"

"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."

"I didn't think my son would make a good postman. But he delivered."

"With all the awful things happening in Nepal... you just have to wonder...what would Kathmandu?"

"Facebook has a link to ""Report a Problem"" so I wrote ""I'm not very close with my father."" Now we wait I guess"

"Why wasn't the man considered attractive? The laws of gravity didn't apply to him."

"I've been friends with my recliner the longest. We go way back."