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Joke of the Day

"In grocery store & guy grabs my hand,starts to walk.I go with him, till he turns & realizes I'm not his wife.We broke it off...Single again"

"When I die , I want to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"If we eliminated, ""Is your car running ok?"" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak."

"Told my husband the best way to get help at Home Depot is to wear yoga pants, but I dunno. It doesn't seem to work as well for him."

"My sex life and gaming life are pretty similar. I play a lot of single player."

"[last supper] ""Wine!"" exclaims Jesus touching everyone's water glasses. ""Wine, wine, wine [arrives at Judas] Mountain Dew lol."""

"I saw a black man running down the street with a TV I was concerned that it was mine so I quickly drove home, as I got home I was relieved to see that mine was cleaning my shoes on the front porch"

"Old MacDonald had a very bad Scrabble hand... E-I-E-I-O."

"It says here on your resume that you're ""good at traps,"" could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?"