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Joke of the Day

"What did the scientist say when a stranger came inside his lab? What the fuck dude get the hell away from my dog!"

"I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th... Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons."

"The secret to becoming a millionaire... Is by being a billionaire, then starting an airline."

"Ref:I'm sending you off Player: What for ? Ref: The rest of the match !"

"Would bet there's a math equation that can tell how many kids a person has by measuring the amount of Cheerios on the floor of their car ..."

"Bill: I hope Hillary will have better interns in the Oval Office than I did. All of mine sucked."

"Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it."

"Q: What is 74 to a blonde? A: 69 plus VAT"

"Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport? Because its a band substance"

"Women are like a 1000 piece puzzle... Hard to finish in 10minutes"