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Joke of the Day
"Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo."
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"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"
"Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite? It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi."
"there once was a wonderful poet who knew that one day he woud blow it cuz his poems woud rhyme most of the time but occasionaly they didnt"
"Number of US states who claim above average elementary test scores? 50. Number of US states who shouldn't be allowed to teach math? 25."
"What do you get when you combine someone from Colorado and someone from Idaho? A Baked Potato"
"What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)? Cold turkey."
"I got a job digging graves, I don't know how, I just fell into it."
"Why was Donald Duck arrested? He was high on quack."
"Just a quick plug for the /r/antiantijokes subreddit It's absurd"