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Joke of the Day

"Why was Donald Duck arrested? He was high on quack."

"They should really have disposable razors in the women's bathrooms at bars."

"tried to drown my sorrows, but after three days, mother-in-law floated back to the shore."

"I can't play music in piano; I guess you could say it's not my forte."

"I'm sorry, we can't hire you. But your background check was hilarious."

"Doctor, the suppositories you prescribed for me are horribly bitter! -- Have you been ... eating them? -- No, I've been shoving them up my ass!"

"Why did Hitler fail math? He couldn't reach the final solution."

"""I put on pants for nothing"" - my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled. Someone set up her Twitter account."

"Q: Did you hear about the book about cowardice? A: It had no spine."

"Agnostics have commitment issues."