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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to kick a habit today (day after Thanksgiving)? Cold turkey."

"Perhaps the greatest fashion revolution was moving the pads from the shoulder to the bras"

"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? Because it was two tired."

"Whats the difference between a corvette and a blowjob? Your mom didnt give me a corvette"

"I like my women just like my wine... 14 years old and locked up in the basement."

"Thinking about wearing Uggs this summer? Just remember that blonde girl in the movie 'Taken'. She wore Uggs during the summer and died."

"Don't invest in SeaWorld It's really starting to tank"

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."

"What does idk stand for? Literally everyone I ask doesn't know."

"I'll have you know that my penis was once in the guinness book of world records... But then the librarian yelled at me and made me leave the library."