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Joke of the Day

"Never give a Roman a high five. Or he'll give you a HIV."

"* during an interview * Interviewer: ""So how long were you employed in your last job?"" Candidate: ""I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills."""

"Little monster: Mom Mom what's for tea? Mother monster: Shut up and get back in the microwave."

"Hitler and his men are having a meeting. Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown. Men: Why the clown? Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!"

"I used to know a great joke about a boomarang... Oh well... it'll come back to me."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'd love to be the bear of bad news. ""The bad news is, you're gonna need stitches. RAWR!"""

"""Mommy, I don't want to see grandma today!"" ""Shut up and keep digging."""

"I figured out Inception, guys. The whole thing was really a movie."

"Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear"

"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"