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Joke of the Day

"I ran into your mom today. I ran into your mom earlier today, she told me she made $400.05 lastnight sucking dick. So I asked her ""Who gave you the nickel?"" She said ""They all did""."

"What does an Australian use instaed of toilet paper? Bidet, mate."

"My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again."

"I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps."

"What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"The hardest part of having sex again after you have recently been widowed is.... Gettin there before the rigor mortis sets in."

"As a guy, it's not that I have anything against psychiatric wards... I'm just afraid of commitment."

"Someday, my kids will say ""daddy, wanna hear a cool story"" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story."

"What is that famous Raider saying? Next season!!! Hater nation!!!"

"Women are good for 2 things... Actually 3, if they take it in the ass."