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Joke of the Day

"I ran into your mom today. I ran into your mom earlier today, she told me she made $400.05 lastnight sucking dick. So I asked her ""Who gave you the nickel?"" She said ""They all did""."

"Which newspaper is most popular around cows? The Moo York Times"

"Whats the difference between being horny and hungry? The difference is where you put the cucumber."

"What was the vacant lot's favorite Spoon song? Don't Make Me A Target"

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Ill tell you tomorow."

"How does it feel to be a famous rock-and-roll musician? Fan-fucking-tastic!"

"What do you call a stereotypical flan? A quiche"

"I never thought a fleshlight would feel like the real thing, but last night I got drunk and totally tried it. And I have to say, it was a pretty good fucksimilie."

"""Dad, what's the difference between love and lust?"" - Well, ya know your teddy bear? ""I love it"" - While you're at school, the dog lusts it."

"My mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and I all currently have diarrhea. Runs in the family."