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Joke of the Day

"I was informed last week that ""cheat day"" does not mean what I thought it did. In related news: Baby, sit down. I have to tell you somethin"

"My daughter is at that age where she has started asking awkward questions about sex... Like, ""Is that all you fucking got?"""

"What do you call a jellyfish on a plane? A flightoplankton."

"What has four legs but isn't alive? A Dead Dog"

"Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping."

"Are cucumbers the only food you can put over your eyes to reduce puffiness because these pizza bagels aren't helping at all."

"What do you call a pussy with herpes? Cuntagious"

"What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ? Unstable."

"1. Ice *check* 2. Ice *check* 3. Baby *calls 911* - Freezer Inspector -"

"What do you call Detroit's trash? Detroitus"