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Joke of the Day

"What does Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt Sr. have in common? Both their last greatest hits was the wall."

"Jesus loves me. This I know. For my neighbor told me so. Jesus is a Puerto Rican that lives two doors down. I'm flattered...but straight."

"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""

"NEVER shake a baby. Unless you think it might have money in it."

"What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs? We don't need an asteroid..."

"Me: Do you have any dreams? Him:...I'm running on a giant hamster wheel and a squirrel wearing a tuxedo comes... Me: ASPIRATIONS YOU IDIOT"

"With all the talk of gender lately I realized the fastest way to turn a pussy into a dick Give it a gun and a badge"

"what's the most common name for a Mexican ? manual labor ........"

"Why can't you make something that's sort of like a macaron but not really? Because then it'd just be macaroni"

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my basement."