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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to stop wearing cologne and taking showers... Because if I'm going to smell like an asshole, I'll do it all natural."

"Why isn't there a Windows 9? ""Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?"" ""Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."""

"What did one earthquake say to the other? ""I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"""

"How do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it........"

"A Doomsday Clock representing the dangers to humanity has symbolically been set to three minutes to midnight I guess you could say we are at... Threat Level Midnight"

"So, two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... *Ba dim tish!*"

"What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time? Getting all high and mighty"

"What race is the author of Charlotte's Web? E B White"

"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."

"My favorite Jesus is the one who gives musicians MTV Video Music Awards. My second favorite Jesus is my landscaper."