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Joke of the Day

"You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore? Old Bae"

"I will never forgive the nazis for what they did to my grandfather He worked 8 years on the guard tower with out a single promotion"

"I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me."

"Rob Riggle has to move to a new city, where does he live? [POWlo Alto](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKCL_ToOook)"

"Thank god the ""S"" on my keyboard doesn't work... It means I can apply for jobs and they think I'm just an ex-offender."

"Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer...."

"If I had a dollar for every time I think about you, I'd start thinking about you."

"What is the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? In the case of the bmw, the pricks are on the inside."

"How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality? He just nose. All credit to my BFF"