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Joke of the Day

"I will never forgive the nazis for what they did to my grandfather He worked 8 years on the guard tower with out a single promotion"

"Why was the snow yellow? Elsa let it go!"

"An old man says to the doctor ""I piss like a horse at 6 each morning, poop like a goose at 7."" The doctor says ""Then what's the problem?"" The old man says ""I don't get out of bed until 8."""

"My friend keeps hiding Disney films in my lunch. I'm fed up."

"LIFE HACK: Make your waist feel dramatically smaller by accidentally trying on maternity pants."

"Just watched a heart-warming video of a soldier returning home from Afghanistan to his cat, who looks at him as if to say ""Were you away?"""

"Two fish were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, do you know how to drive this? Now, two sharks were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, I don't think that's enough equity."

"If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band."

"What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him? I don't wanna be Obama self."

"When I'm not standing up or laying down, I have a seizure If I sit, I fit."