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Joke of the Day

"Wanted: Human left leg, to finish the monster I'm making in my basement. Will pay handsomely. No weirdo's."

"I booked some Star Wars impersonators for my son's birthday, but I've just had a phone call saying that their people carrier's broken down. All I know is that they're in a Galaxy far, far away."

"What do you call a parent an a transsexual A transparent"

"A recent study states that one of women's most common turnoffs on the first date is when men keep answering their phones. Especially when it's their wife on the line."

"What did the optical illusion say when he got caught cheating on his wife ""It's not what it looks like!"""

"FACT: You are having a birthday because Chuck Norris decided to let you live another year!"

"I don't know what's healthier, but a grilled cheese sandwich tastes way better than a boiled one."

"What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic? A seizure salad."

"You'll sleep when you're dead?...that's adorable. Well, I'll lose weight when I'm dead, so pass the doughnuts."

"Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting... But actually it's mostly Data entry."