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Joke of the Day
"FACT: You are having a birthday because Chuck Norris decided to let you live another year!"
Next Joke
"How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff? Straight jack it."
"Anyone can give a definition for erectile dysfunction... It's not that hard."
"Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure."
"How do you make a cookie dance? Throw a little dough at it!"
"Hey where's Brian? ""Oh he's taking a p_ _p"" A what? ""Um dropping a d_ _c_"" Huh? ""Taking a sh_t....Uhh Cr_p!"" Oh! He's evacuating his vowels?"
"Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!"
"How do you make holy water? You take ordinary tap water and boil the hell out of it."
"What do you call a white man on fire? A firecracker!"
"Two cows standing in a field... One cow looks at the other and says ""Moo"", the other cow says ""Fuck I was just about to say that""."