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Joke of the Day

"Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!"

"That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce... and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Sometimes I forget I'm from Florida and then I remember when I was 9, my dad had me drive the golf cart so he could get drunk on the course."

"Pro tip: If he pretends he can't hear you, talk some shit about his mother."

"Fractals joke there are 2 types of people in this world, those who don't know about fractals and those who think that there are 2 types of people in this world..."

"Nothing bums me out more than realizing how many celebrity baby names I know."

"Starting a hammock company for kids called Kidnaps and maybe I need to rethink some things."

"Isn't it amazing that human brains are still faster than supercomputers? Eventually they'll start putting wheels on the machines though."

"When you really think about it... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape."

"Donald Trump is cancelling the Dawn Of Justice movie He's doing it since one of the main characters, Superman, is an illegal alien."