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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump is cancelling the Dawn Of Justice movie He's doing it since one of the main characters, Superman, is an illegal alien."

"To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird or plane... why the hell were you so excited?"

"pessimist vs optimist (x-post from funny) The pessimist says, It can't get any worse!' And the optimist replies, Oh yes it can!"

"My wife caught me crossdressing. So I packed her things and left."

"It would suck to have writer's block but then come up with a great idea for a suicide note."

"If I'd had a nickel for every time I've been financially irresponsible... I'd probably still be in debt right now."

"A redneck calles up the White House and tells the receptionist: ""I'd like to become the next President of the United States."" The receptionist: ""What are you an idiot?"" Redneck: ""Why is it required?"""

"What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her? Her miscarriage"

"Ever get high off of watching Rambo? I got really Stalloned the other night."

"[creation of bats] God: stretch out that mouse"