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Joke of the Day

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... and the bartender says: ""hey where'd you get that? It looks exotic."" And the parrot says: ""Africa."""

"Bolt beats De Grasse in 200m because he's Jamaican You could even say Bolt smokes De Grasse."

"Microwave broke and I had to cook on the stove like freaking Betty Rubble."

"What did the lunatic vacuum cleaner salesman say to his son before murdering him? Dyson."

"I drink to forget that I accidentally once said ""I love you"" when ending a call with a customer service rep."

"My local post office uses four checkouts unless it's really busy; then they use one."

"What did the underscore say when he got up to leave? Gotta Dash!"

"Why is the cinematography of pornos so impressive? Because it's all done one handed."

"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? (NSFW) I can't jelly my cock down your mothers throat..."