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Joke of the Day

"whenever a song says put your hands in the air i do it on the spot. i have fun and also an alarming vehicle collision record"

"Good News: Got rid of the skunk smell on the cat using hydrogen peroxide, dishsoap & baking soda Bad News: the cat now looks like Billy Idol"

"Two neanderthals had a baby... No Homo"

"What did the halal lettuce say to the halal cucumber ? Lets make salat"

"My Grandpa has a French rifle from WWII It was never fired, but it was dropped once."

"""How'd the session go with your new therapist?"" ""It was a waste of time. He just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting."""

"Papa Johns delivered to the World Trade Center on 9/11... They were 2 large plains."

"[ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!"

"Just when I thought life couldn't get any harder... I accidentally take Viagra for my migraine."

"My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM."