158097

Joke of the Day

"It's quaint when a company publishes a fax number on their website's contact page. It's like finding a Walkman at a flea market."

"[NSFW] How can you tell if your girlfriend is too young? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth!"

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"Where are the longest hairs of the body? Inside the nose. Because every time you pull one, you feel the pain until your ass."

"I would tell a joke about fat people, But they have enough on their plate as it is."

"What do you call Chinese jewelry? Bling blong"

"I got a book for Hanukkah today It was the diary of Anne Frank"

"It was recently revealed that 25% of women are being treated for mental illness. Scary shit. It means 75% are running around untreated."

"Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00? Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. **EDITED** to make joke more apparent"

"Dreading the day that all my present and past roommates figure out that I haven't bought my own body wash in 10 years."