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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] How can you tell if your girlfriend is too young? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth!"

"Is it okay for men to sit down to pee? The manager of this sofa store doesn't seem to think so."

"Cannibalism isn't funny Although, it depends on a person's taste..."

"Be nice to people because you never know when you'll a need character witness."

"What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist? An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47."

"When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris."

"Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!"

"Q: Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics? A: Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame."

"Monica Lewinsky says she's not voting for Hillary if she runs because... ...the last time a Clinton was in the White House it left a bad taste in her mouth!"

"A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window. The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks. The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces. The windows phone freezes mid decent."