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Joke of the Day

"I got everyone a pet snake for Christmas but you have to catch it, they're in my house, they're everywhere, please come get your snake."

"I get about your body being a temple but... right now I wanna turn mine into a bouncy castle, it sounds more like fun. I'm all about fun."

"Did you guys hear about the kid getting arrested for bringing a clock to school? Sources say that the teachers were alarmed."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite film? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN!!"

"Nick Saban walks into a bar... to watch the College Football Championship"

"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."

"What do you get if you ask a bear to spare some of his salmon? The Bear Glare."

"classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. ""Nationality?"" asks the immigration officer. ""German,"" she replies. ""Occupation?"" ""No, just here for a few days."""

"I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. ""Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."""

"What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion? It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam."