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Joke of the Day

"I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. ""Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."""

"Searched my teens room for drugs, was told ""you don't give me enough money for drugs."" I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance."

"What do accountants use for birth control? Their personalities."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"DJ Khaled has just declined a role in his upcoming biopic. When asked about his decision, he was quoted to have said ""never play yourself."""

"Jokes about unemployed people are not funny... They just don't work."

"Fool me once, fine by me. Fool me twice, jokes on you. I still don't give a fuck."

"I'm not saying she's fat... ...but if I had to name the top five fattest people I know, she'd be three of them."

"What is the Puerto Rican national anthem? Partly in the USA"

"Out of all the gruesome noises coming from the bathroom stall next to me, the camera click was the most troubling."