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Joke of the Day
"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."
Next Joke
"Which musical instrument does Vladimir Putin know how to play best? The TRUMPet!"
"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."
"What's blue and doesn't fit? A dead epileptic"
"When someone spaces out their ""ha ha ha's"" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice"
"my wife wouldn't let me wear my pajama jeans to her awards luncheon thing because you can ""see my balls through them"" smh"
"I haven't cleaned my car in so long that I still have paper maps in my glovebox"
"Me: Both of our hamsters died and we just can't part with them Taxidermist: Would you like them mounted? Me: Um no, just holding hands"
"Sex while married"
"Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*"