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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!"

"Apparently ""Which one?"" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me ""What are your intentions with my daughter?"""

"All I want from Uber is to be driven around until I fall asleep, carried over the driver's shoulder into my home, and tucked into bed"

"Whats the difference between man united and a clown? ones a complete laughing stock and the other ones a clown."

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"A Girl In London Two men in a bar. One says ""A girl I met in London gave me a sexually transmitted disease"". His mate replies ""you were lucky, in Yorkshire you would have had to pay for it!"""

"Why are camels known as the ships of the desert? Because they're filled with Arab semen."

"Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today"

"A ""C,"" an ""E-flat"" and a ""G"" walk into a bar..... The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors here."""

"Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it."