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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."

"I'm having a hard time believing Jesus was a carpenter. He was a miracle worker. You'd think he'd just wave his magic wand and POOF! Bench."

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike... My dad was holding me from behind..."

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes two doctors and a nurse to get it out."

"I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo."

"I like the word ""panties"" so much I'm going to start using it in place of ""cool."" Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties."

"Says the Titanic to the Iceberg... so I was sinking..."

"It's uncool to be religious. It's uncool to be atheist. If someone asks what you believe in just say Beyonce. It's the only way to be safe."

"DEAD BABY JOKES: So what's the difference between a dead baby and dirt? **I don't eat dirt.**"