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Joke of the Day

"I asked God for a bike But I know God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness."

"Colo, the world's oldest gorilla died today... I guess her heart couldn't handle seeing a baboon about to be in office."

"Where can you find a paraplegic man? Right where you left him."

"I was standing in the elevator at work and I couldn't remember why I was mad... Then it hit me"

"Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity."

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."

"North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: Rapping, Son. North West: mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))"

"I told my neighbor with a cute daughter this joke today and it's killing him. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at 'C'"

"Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, ""Keep going."""

"Q. What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A. Donut seeds."