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Joke of the Day

"Why do you have to take two Baptists with you when you go fishing? Answer: Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer."

"If Bill Cosby and Gwyneth Paltrow hooked up... ...it would be an unconscious coupling."

"(Q)..... What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? (A)..... Swim."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Scalding hot and drenched all over my penis in the McDonald's parking lot."

"Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment"

"The worst birthday present I ever got... ...was from my grandma when i turned 5. She gave me three socks. When asked why, she responded ""because your mom said you grew a foot."""

"Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00? His hands were tied."

"I know I need to lose weight when.. I ask my boyfriend ""do I look fat in these knickers ? "" and he says "" what knickers ?"""

"What does Ukraine have in common with the iPhone 7? They both suffered the loss of one very important port."

"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."