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Joke of the Day
"""Makin all the ladies drop they panties"" I brag, pulling the fire alarm at Victoria's Secret."
Next Joke
"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""
"Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds? I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps."
"Before working to reunite the US he was known as Abram Lincoln."
"What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire? They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises."
"i must be really good on the phone Whenever I call a company, they tell me they are going to use my call for training purposes."
"The difference between the middle finger and the fourth finger I use my middle finger to say fuck you to you.. My wife uses my fourth finger to say fuck you to me"
"Whenever the wind gets bad... I think to myself, ""It may be windy but at least its not sandy."""
"How do you have phone sex over a telegraph line? Oh baby, don't stop. STOP."
"I saw a sign yesterday that said, ""Have you seen this man?"" with a little picture of the criminal and a number to call. I was bored so I rung them up and said, ""No, I haven't."""