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Joke of the Day

"Im making a heavy metal band... Im thinking of naming it Lead-arsenic-mercury."

"I heard it said that one in every three people will cheat in a relationship. I just can't tell if it's my wife or my girlfriend."

"I wonder whether there are bars for lesbians at clown colleges and, if not, just what those students would do for a Clown Dyke Bar."

"I only eat beef raised on marijuana... I like it when the steaks are high."

"How does a black man ride a black stallion? With no legs."

"Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment ""You 3 look incredible!!"""

"What do you call a camera mounted on a ISIS-truck? a daeshcam"

"I went to the zoo the other day. I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu."

"My brother won a TV quiz show by bribing the guy who sets the questions. He's a criminal mastermind."

"Magician: an ordinary deck of cards right? Guy in front row: that's a ham. Magician: [whispers to assistant] get eagle eyes out of here."