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Joke of the Day
"Each time my husband yells for the Warriors an angel (me) uses his credit card."
Next Joke
"Is your mother's name Josephine? Cuz I had sloppy joe's for dinner last night."
"I hate watching termites. They're boring."
"""Hola, Senor, do you want me to shift into second gear?"" Manuel transmission"
"Why is it called an ""almond"" in the tree but an ""amond"" when it falls to the ground? When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it."
"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I'd rather be tweeting."" It was on a car that was flipped upside down in a ditch."
"What do you call a black person with a PHD? A Doctor you racist!"
"Damn you Jehovah's, suckered me in to opening my door. Sure,I'll read your literature, while you read my twitter. We'll see who converts who"
"School Joke Principal: ""I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"" Johnny: ""Nothing, sir."" Principal: ""Exactly!"""
"I just sold adderal to a guy who thinks its viagra! Ahh, he'll thank me later."