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Joke of the Day

"School Joke Principal: ""I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"" Johnny: ""Nothing, sir."" Principal: ""Exactly!"""

"What's the best part of finger banging a gypsy on her period? You get your palm red for free."

"OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE. THANK YOU. CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM"

"Just so u know guys I literally covered my roommates bed in 324 pieces of cornbread 2 make it a ""cornbed"" so ur fakes puns mean nothing 2 me"

"What do you call a quiet asian? Silent-li"

"What do you call the kids claiming ""We don't need no education""? Comfortably Dumb"

"*phone rings* Wife: ""Quick! Pretend I'm not in!"" Me (a dad): ""Hello. Yes my wife is here. Hey, Not In. It's for you."" Wife: ""...."""

"What happened to the plant outside the math class window? It grew square roots."

"So my buddy thought it'd be a good idea to get an inspirational tattoo on his forehead... Boy, was his face read."

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."