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Joke of the Day
"Clinton's blue firewall... About as secure as her private email server."
Next Joke
"Grand Theft Auto reminds me of Florida. Except one lets you shoot people without consequence and the other is a video game."
"A black person is walking down the street carrying a 4K TV I thought, 'that looks like mine!'. But then I remembered, my black person is at home doing laundry"
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to *WANT* to change."
"What do elves learn at school? The elf-abet!"
"What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty!"
"What do you call a dog with iron balls? Sparky."
"I asked the grocery store man if they had eggnog and he's like ""We only carry it at Christmastime"" so I was all ""Whatever, Hitler."""
"- How much for the mobile tampon? - Ma'am? - It's a bit big. - Ma'am, it's a lamb. - Does it make that sound because it has detected blood?"
"Why are magnets so arousing? They're very attractive."