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Joke of the Day

"Government shutdown day 7: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever."

"Paul Walker proves god is real ! Paul Walker was meant to walk, but he took a car and god punished him for not walking. This proves that - Atheist: 0 Theist: 1"

"How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator? Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door."

"I'm glad I'll never know the pressure a black guy has when ""shooting"" garbage into the waste basket."

"Where do bacteria like to vacation? Germany"

"Me:*delete pics* IPhone: you sure? M:Yes IP: Ok I'll just put them over here Me:delete them IP: Ok *whispers* keeping them on the cloud tho"

"I was in the gym. ""1,2,3,4,"" counted my personal trainer, as I panted. ""Come on,"" he added, ""Now we've got you down the stairs, we can do a workout!"""

"Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial..."

"What's the difference between circus and strip club? Circus is full of cunning stunts."

"I like my eggs like the women I like Whites only"