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Joke of the Day
"What's a skydiver's favorite spice? Ground cumin! As long as they aren't running out of thyme."
Next Joke
"If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood."
"""You promise you didn't get me bees again"" [me from a distance] just open it"
"Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years."
"One day Joaquin Phoenix will be bitten by a zombie... ...and he will be called the Joaquin Dead"
"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second but instead I'm going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."
"My roommate just called my clothes gay.. Have a little respect man! They just came out of the closet"
"What kind of meat does The Pope eat? Nun"
"Yo mamma so fat... ...she doesn't jump, she pushes the earth away from her, and it falls back to her."
"What do you call a disappearing President? Hocus POTUS"