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Joke of the Day

"In the Empire... In the Galactic Empire, there were two holonet channels. The first channel was Imperial propaganda, and the second was an Intelligence officer telling you to turn back to channel 1."

"What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car? A Daeshboard"

"What's the main difference between a man and a woman? It's what comes to mind when they think of the word facial."

"If you're ever chased by a police dog ...don't run over a see-saw, crawl through a tunnel or jump through a hoop. They're trained for that sort of thing"

"History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the ""Lazy Susan"", but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife."

"What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!"

"My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. At least that's one thing she has in common with my wife."

"Remember when you were small & all you wanted was a pony but your parents were high on meth & thought the house was already full of ponies?"

"What does a duck call a tractor? A quacktor"

"I'm thinking of investing in cancer research... I hear it's a growth industry."