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Joke of the Day

"I started carrying a knife after a mugging attempt a few months ago. After that my mugging attempts have been very successful"

"New reality show. Put the commenters from YouTube videos in a house with the commenters from Yahoo Answers. Burn the house down."

"Why should you never date a vegan girl? She won't swallow."

"What do you call tubing in Winnipeg? Mani-tubing"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One is a good year, the other is a great year."

"Sorry I didn't text you back, my hands are sore from karate chopping loaves of bread in half and feeding them to starving children all day."

"What's in the middle of girls' legs? Their knee."

"They aren't so different. A pizza delivery man and a Gynecologist aren't so different when you think about it. They both can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"A woman recently got breast implants made from oak wood. It would be funny if this joke had a punchline, Wooden tit?"

"Oh so Paris Hilton can carry a dog in her purse but if I leave my baby in a suitcase behind the chicken restaurant I'm some kind of monster."