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Joke of the Day

"Oh so Paris Hilton can carry a dog in her purse but if I leave my baby in a suitcase behind the chicken restaurant I'm some kind of monster."

"TIL that there is an exotic instrument only select children can master. Apparently the Fogle Fiddle has been around since 1977, who knew?"

"What does a menopausal Vietnam vet suffer from? Hot flashbacks"

"Who are the best readers in the world? Suicide jumpers : hundreds of stories in a few seconds"

"Tell the punchline first. How do you ruin a joke?"

"Pizza is a good argument against nihilism."

"A seal walks in to a club... haha"

"""Hello 911?"" ""Someone just stole my status on Facebook... yes, I'll hold."""

"what is the hardest part to eat on a vegetable? the wheelchair."

"Nothing fcuks up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday!"