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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the useless piece is skin on the end of the penis? The man."

"Your mama's hair is so nappy... Moses couldn't part it."

"After 4 months, I lost 270 pounds Now she's my ex-wife"

"I bought my wife a refrigerator for her birthday. I know it's not the best gift in the world, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."

"""Do you know how fast you were going?"" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. ""Get out of the car."" *Cop cuddles driver* ""Stop doing this. I worry."""

"A hipster has just died Welcome to heaven, says god. The hipster turns back : no way, I'm going to hell before it's cool"

"One great perk about working at a funeral home... I always get to bring flowers home to my wife! (Yes, I actually work at a mortuary. No, I don't do this)"

"A Canadian walks into a bar, steps back, apologizes to the bar, and walks away."

"I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all."

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chamber alive..."