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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you make like a tree & get slammed into by my drunk uncle on Halloween 97 why didnt you call a cab Uncle Gary we miss you so much"

"I met this gorgeous girl on the subway... and I said to her, ""do you know the different between lunch and a blowjob"" ""no"" Ok, lets go to lunch then."

"Which dog is always without a tail? A hot dog."

"Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof? It can't catch fire underwater... I think."

"What comes after 69? Mouthwash. I'm sure this has been posted before, but I thought it was funny."

"The Soviet Union won't ever rise again? What a bunch of Bolshevik."

"Spielberg missed a great opportunity when he didn't put FIN at the end of Jaws."

"If you own a karate dojo and you don't make your employees answer the phone ""Hiiiiiiiiya"" You're doing it wrong"

"Me: ""Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?"" Nurse: ""Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..."" *pulls pants back up*"

"Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like ""DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?"" and then Rachel shows up and says ""I got off the meth."""