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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Hi, do nurses still give sponge baths?"" Nurse: ""Sir, you're just here for a blood pressure reading..."" *pulls pants back up*"

"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was out-standing in his field."

"Blue Collar Work Where does the blue collar chicken work? The Eggplant."

"What is the best way to fuck a girl with no arms or legs? Throw her in a lake."

"Relationship status: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, YOU CALLED A STORMTROOPER A ROBOT"

"Just turned off porch light and saw a moth take off flying towards the moon. Good luck buddy, if you make it back, sell the story to Pixar."

"Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok"

"I schedule my appointments for 9:11 so I never forget."

"FDR hates cripple humor He can't stand it"

"My wife passed away from an infected in-grown hair. I got a cyst and deceased letter."