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Joke of the Day

"a friend told me i look like james taylor just after he went bald ;("

"ANOTHER BULL NAME Q: What do you call a masturbating bull? A: Beef Strokinoff."

"Why are Jews so bad at maths? Cause they can never find the final solution"

"Know Thyself, said Jesus. in the biblical sense. Merry Christmas."

"How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it."

"What is the difference between a dog thermometer and a human thermometer? the taste"

"ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way"

"I always wear running shoes while driving because you won't know what the terrain will be like until after the cop pulls you over."

"I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps."

"You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince."