15692

Joke of the Day

"Why could the witch never get the enchantments right? She forgot to use Spell Check."

"Hey, want to hear a joke? ""Sure"" ""Sex"" ""... I don't get it."" ""Yeah, I know you don't."""

"Where are smells made? In the olfactory."

"[guy jokingly refers to america as 'murica, everyone starts applauding; I basically hork up a damn lung from laughing my shit off so hard]"

"How Many Feminists Does it Take to Change a Light bulb? Trick question. Feminists can't change a thing."

"BANK: Someone made fraudulent charges w/ ur debit card ME: How'd you know it wasn't me B: They entered the PIN correctly 1st try M: Dear god"

"Me: When I have a rough day, you're there. When I need to cry, you're there. Nobody helps me gain 10 pounds the way you do. Cheesecake:"

"my New Years resolution is to stop making stupid New Years resolutions. I failed."

"Damn girl, are you the wife of a convict serving a long term in a federal penitentiary? Because you left before I even finished my sentence"

"Wrong hole. No. Still the wrong hole. Only ONE in each hole! Ugh. Here! I'll show you. -Helping my kid put on a swimsuit."