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Joke of the Day

"Got shut down by a 12 year old. Kid: wow you're really good! Me: good at what? :D Kid: Nothing. :l"

"When you're feeling down, just remember... you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year."

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

"Why didn't you come to the halloween party? I was at the Halloween party as a ninja. ""But I didn't see you there."" ""Exactly."""

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't, numbers aren't sentient beings..."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis -- LADDER. I meant ladder."

"Love must not be a very good student... Because Love isn't always on time."

"Did you hear about the hillbilly who asked his friends to give him their burnt-out light bulbs. He wanted to start a dark room."

"They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now."

"Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery"