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Joke of the Day

"My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006."

"What did the lightbulb say to its mother? I wuv you watts and watts."

"When you'd rather read a book than date a girl ... it's prose over hoes."

"My dear Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep. But his 3 passengers all went screaming."

"What's big, grey and makes you jump? The elephant of surprise. :)"

"Americans won't get this Free healthcare"

"It's quiet...too quiet... Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner? She had to buy a duet yourself kit... *-drops mic-* *-mike jumps up and promptly kicks hatter in the shin-*"

"If someone asked me to choose my favorite body part... I'd pick my nose."

"Pretty disappointed that Shakespeare's Hamlet didn't turn out to be the story of a delicious tiny ham."

"Potatoes are high in carbs. 'Baked' potatoes are just high."